Networking 101: Don’t Go for the Prom Dress!

(Infomercial Narrator voice) How many times has this happened to you?

I walk into a networking event, prepared to meet some interesting people, make some contacts, and snag a few business cards to follow up on. I’m not in attack mode, and I hope others aren’t either. I just want to chill and spread the brand. It’s a good mission. But, I find my hopes are dashed with the first exchange.

“Hi I wanted to know if I could introduce myself. My name is Milburn Drysdale and I work for the Beverly Hills Bank.”

Well, this is okay I think. He looks professional and confident. Plus, I’ve heard of the bank. So I bite, and tell him who I am and where I work.

Mr. Drysdale flashes a bright, bright smile, and says that’s very, very, interesting. Well it’s not really interesting and we both know it. He’s starting to come on too strong. Oh, oh, then he makes the first move for the spaghetti strap on my dress.

“Uh, I was just wondering, where do you bank?”

Mr. Drysdale, you’re way too forward. I know where you’re going with this. First one strap (where do you bank), then the other (are you happy there? You know we offer some great services I’d like to tell you about?). Next thing I know Mr. Drysdale you’ll have both your manicured hands on my lower back (do you have some time next week so we can get together) and creeping me out in the process. I know what you want! Pretty soon you’ll be telling all the boys how easily you got an appointment with me.

Don’t be like Mr. Drysdale. Go slow in networking events with the whole “you know we can help you, do you want to set up a meeting next week” thing. It’s desperate and ineffective. You may get an appointment or two with this heavy handed approach, but they probably won’t be with high quality prospects…just people with weak wills. Worse, you’ll get a “networking alley cat” reputation that’s hard to shake.

It’s much better to ask people you just met about their customers. This is an easy and sincere way to get people to talk about themselves. It also gives you the opportunity to discuss what you do for your customers. Not on the make, just nice and pleasant. If you demonstrate in this little exchange that you care about your customers you will make new friends and new prospects in every meeting. Just slow down to be effective.

When you ask meaningful and not self serving questions, you demonstrate you really understand the networking process and that you aren’t there just working to see what’s under that frilly gold and azure taffeta.

Different topic: DON’T BE THAT BOSS, a sparkling fable about powerful and weak leadership skills is now available for pre-order on amazon.com. I highly recommend it. You can also search in amazon.com under the author’s name: Mark Wiskup.