Nightmare on Social Media Street - Part III

“Great, huh?”

A 30-something woman in jeans and a sharp jacket asked me. My head throbbed and all I could think of was the joy of boarding the plane home. I didn’t even notice anyone was sitting next to me at the gate.

“What do you mean great?” I asked. “This is frickin’ chaos. It’s worse than that. It’s hell. How can you stand it?”

Her lips curled in a very patronizing smile,

“You signed up for Facebook, Twitter, Plaxo and Linkedin didn’t you? Bask in the wonder and purity of social media. Stop fighting it.”

“Well I signed up for all the stuff because everyone said I would lose business and become irrelevant if I didn’t,” I explained.

A flight attendant in full uniform, kerchief and all, who was walking by said,

“It’s not about money or careers, gramps. It’s about connecting 24/7.

Hope it’s not too late for you.”

I stopped fretting about the bizarre nature of the tableau I was in the middle of. Instead, I found myself getting angry. I shouted so loud everyone in the entire terminal could hear me,

“What about editing?

What about grammar?

What about linear thinking?

What about the development of sophisticated, useful syntax over the last twenty thousand years?

What about a thesis, supported by compelling arguments?

What about composing your thoughts for a minute or two before you throw them up on everybody?

Is that all passé?

Or should I say I heart complete sentences with a subject and a predicate, just so you’ll comprehend what the hell I’m talking about.”

Everybody stopped on the concourse. I mean everyone: from the Ben & Jerry’s, down past the restrooms, to my gate. It was obvious from the fiercely turning heads in my direction; they were not pleased with my outburst. Three of them screamed in rapid order,

“WTF, Dude?”

I didn’t even try to fathom how on earth the World Trade Federation could have any relevance to this situation.

Tomorrow Nightmare on Social Media Street (The Final Installment): They Turn on Me.